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[Oasis]

I'm involved in my first real life "chick turning in to a dyke" case and it's absolutely hilarious.

Long story short, after I broke up with my ex several months ago I found out another bitch at Fowler's liked me. I never bothered messing around with her because she was 18 and annoying as hell. Plus she had a boyfriend, not that that ever stopped her from cheating. Anyways, fast forward a few months and I find out my friend, who is 37, liked her a lot. Much like me, he came from a relationship where he did nothing wrong and ended up getting screwed over, so we kind of had a bond. I gave him a lot of good advice in regards to Paige (the now wannabe dyke). I actually gained a bit of respect for her when I heard she was scared shitless to leave her boyfriend, because he was beating her and ruining her psychologically. I'm sure that can be pretty scary for a young girl. She wanted to leave him and be with my friend. But after about three weeks of tugging him along, I told him to get out before he got too emotionally involved. It was obvious she either didn't know whether she wanted to be with her boyfriend or him. Hell, even her own friends told him the same thing. He finally told her off, which was the best thing for him to do in the end. No reason for putting your emotions on the line for someone who can't make up their mind.

Fast forward a few weeks to two days ago. I'd posted a bulletin about how much I hated that stupid Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl" and he sent me a cryptic message about it turning girls in to lesbians. I had no idea what he was talking about so I didn't respond. I had to go pick up my roommate from the bar last night and ended up running in to him, he explained. Apparently, Paige finally got the courage to dump her boyfriend....for a chick. And I use the term "chick" lightly, because this girl looks manlier than me. Typical bulldyke, short hair, hates guys, just a militant lesbian. This isn't one of those typical lesbians you jack off to on the internet (dogmeat), this is one of those combat boots wearing dykes.

I'm no psychologist, but I've seen this before. Some girl who's young and naive gets herself completely dicked over by a guy, to the point it screws her up so bad psychologically she ends up thinking all guys are scumbags. She decides to try a girl, since she thinks girls are more caring and understanding (which they aren't). She finds one who not only hates guys, but looks like one. Best of both worlds....she found an emotional tampon who doesn't look that much different than the guys she's been dating her entire life. She knows she isn't a lesbian, but thinks "converting" to lesbianism is the only way she can find a partner who will treat her right.

I've seen this before. One time out of ten, she'll stick with females, cut her hair like a boy, start wearing camo, and five years down the line she'll be preying on straight naive girls who just got out of an awful, abusive relationship.....just like the girl who five years before, preyed on her. The other nine times out of ten, she'll only be fooling herself. It might take awhile for her to realize she isn't a lesbian, but she will....and it'll fuck her up ten times worse than any high school ex boyfriend. She'll probably end up screwing over a girl who actually cares about her, which she'll invariably leave when she comes to her senses. And by that time, she'll have lost friends and be a laughingstock (both have already begun to happen)

I have no real problem with lesbians if they're actually lesbian. It's the idiots who turn to girls because they're stupid and think all guys are scumbags who I hate.

I wish I liked popcorn, cause I got a feeling this will be funnier than any Hollywood movie.