 Headlines from 2029 |
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| Headlines from 2029 |
 Mar 26 2007, 04:21 PM
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#1
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 DEATH TO ....something? Group: Members Posts: 5,618 Joined: 23-February 06 From: Parker, CO Member No.: 55  |
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines! -------------------- I r Ur Gawd!
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Mar 26 2007, 04:33 PM
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#2
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 New son Donovan Charles Mummert born July 17, 2008 Group: Members Posts: 8,635 Joined: 22-February 06 From: Port Wentworth, GA Member No.: 15 |
haha badass!
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Mar 26 2007, 07:14 PM
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#3
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 Group: Moderators Posts: 1,551 Joined: 19-April 06 From: Lubbock Member No.: 162 |
yup, pretty funny. I think that the shutter speed headline is not correct though. Womens mouths are shut when they're eating.
edit: and when they're in a coma or dead. -------------------- Je suis toute du merde.
....bitches!!!!! |
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Mar 26 2007, 10:06 PM
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#4
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CHEE CHEE Group: Members Posts: 5,026 Joined: 23-February 06 From: trapped in the hoezone layer Member No.: 39 |
those are the preferable ways to have them
-------------------- Little monkeys making money
Naked monkey looking funny Mighty males are strong and free Female monkey, not so lucky Rocking monkeys, funky monkeys Monkeys sticking other monkeys Monkeys wrong or monkeys right Mostly flexing monkey might |
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Mar 27 2007, 05:06 AM
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#5
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 GORILLA FLUFFER  Group: Agents Posts: 7,711 Joined: 23-February 06 From: lubbock Member No.: 50 |
QUOTE (Testm0nkey @ Mar 26 2007, 11:06 PM)  those are the preferable ways to have them yea.. for the dead ones, sitting them in the sun for a little bit warms things up to the right temperature. set the heat a little higher and they stew in their own juices, get moist, and you don't have to lube them! --------------------  QUOTE (Jessica @ May 7 2007, 01:15 PM) but yeehaw dammit. YEEHAW QUOTE (Dogmeat @ Jun 26 2008, 07:51 PM) ok once upon a time I jacked myself off retarded. Licking anuses, one kindergarten class at a time!! |
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Mar 27 2007, 09:30 PM
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 FFFFFFFUCKKKKKKKKKKKK Group: Members Posts: 1,673 Joined: 22-February 06 Member No.: 11 |
NE8BA9D0
JAIWND 9 202U 80JHD AJ09SJ 9JDOJ GJJKD IDJA DHG IANKPA DKJF DKNKDD DKNFA,,DAFEADDD JUD JIBJIA00 D9JG9J A9JP9AJ 9JD9 J9DI AJIDONB ANIN9A NEWSLINE JANUARY 9 2029 GOD IS DEAD LAST ONE TO DIE, TURN OUT THE LIGHT IF ANYONE CAN READ THIS MORE RATIONS NEEDED |
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Mar 27 2007, 09:48 PM
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#7
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CHEE CHEE Group: Members Posts: 5,026 Joined: 23-February 06 From: trapped in the hoezone layer Member No.: 39 |
QUOTE (FORSAKENR320 @ Mar 27 2007, 06:06 AM) yea.. for the dead ones, sitting them in the sun for a little bit warms things up to the right temperature. set the heat a little higher and they stew in their own juices, get moist, and you don't have to lube them! you let them rot long enough they will juicify on their own -------------------- Little monkeys making money
Naked monkey looking funny Mighty males are strong and free Female monkey, not so lucky Rocking monkeys, funky monkeys Monkeys sticking other monkeys Monkeys wrong or monkeys right Mostly flexing monkey might |
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Mar 28 2007, 04:35 AM
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#8
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GORILLA FLUFFER Group: Agents Posts: 7,711 Joined: 23-February 06 From: lubbock Member No.: 50 |
QUOTE (Testm0nkey @ Mar 27 2007, 10:48 PM) you let them rot long enough they will juicify on their own and it really doesn't smell any different than a normal vagina... 
-------------------- QUOTE (Jessica @ May 7 2007, 01:15 PM) but yeehaw dammit. YEEHAW QUOTE (Dogmeat @ Jun 26 2008, 07:51 PM) ok once upon a time I jacked myself off retarded. Licking anuses, one kindergarten class at a time!! |
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