IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )


 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Cruise and Holmes to give birth, on the MOON!!!
kcroxyoursox
post Apr 18 2006, 04:13 PM
Post #1


No day but today...


Group: Members
Posts: 773
Joined: 22-February 06
Member No.: 5



Newsweek link

WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE
By Andy Borowitz
Special to Newsweek
Updated: 4:12 p.m. ET April 18, 2006

April 18, 2006 - Expectant parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced plans today to give birth on the moon in what appears to be an escalating competition with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for the nuttiest birth plan in history.

In a press conference at Cape Canaveral, where Cruise was conferring with NASA officials about the final details of the couple’s lunar journey, the actor denied that the plan to give birth on the moon was in any way motivated by the other couple’s decision to deliver their baby in Namibia.

“I have been training to get my body accustomed to zero gravity for months now,� Cruise told reporters. “That’s why I jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch.�

Cruise said he and Holmes chose the moon because “it is really, really quiet there,� adding, “There are no human beings on the moon, no paparazzi, and most importantly, no psychiatrists.�

News of the Cruise-Holmes plan to deliver their child on the moon sent the Pitt-Jolie camp scrambling to make their birth plan even more insane, as the couple announced that they had abandoned their decision to give birth in Namibia and that their baby would instead be delivered on the ocean floor by a watertight robot obstetrician.

Cruise refused to comment on the updated Pitt-Jolie birth plan, but said that he and Holmes were still “tweaking� theirs: “All I can say is it’s going to involve Cirque du Soleil.�

Elsewhere, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld got a vote of confidence today from a retired member of the Texas Air National Guard.



eek.gif


--------------------
Forget regret
or life is yours to miss
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Testm0nkey
post Apr 18 2006, 04:28 PM
Post #2


CHEE CHEE


Group: Members
Posts: 5,026
Joined: 23-February 06
From: trapped in the hoezone layer
Member No.: 39



its in the humor section of the magazine!

still cruise is a freak


--------------------
Little monkeys making money
Naked monkey looking funny
Mighty males are strong and free
Female monkey, not so lucky
Rocking monkeys, funky monkeys
Monkeys sticking other monkeys
Monkeys wrong or monkeys right
Mostly flexing monkey might
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Testm0nkey
post Apr 18 2006, 05:44 PM
Post #3


CHEE CHEE


Group: Members
Posts: 5,026
Joined: 23-February 06
From: trapped in the hoezone layer
Member No.: 39



she had their baby today. 'suri'
i bet the next few months will be hilarious in hollywood


--------------------
Little monkeys making money
Naked monkey looking funny
Mighty males are strong and free
Female monkey, not so lucky
Rocking monkeys, funky monkeys
Monkeys sticking other monkeys
Monkeys wrong or monkeys right
Mostly flexing monkey might
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
woody
post Apr 19 2006, 12:13 AM
Post #4





Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,499
Joined: 23-February 06
From: El Paso Texas
Member No.: 32



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suri_%28Ethiopia%29


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
jonathan83
post Apr 19 2006, 02:38 AM
Post #5





Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,558
Joined: 22-February 06
From: Seoul, South Korea
Member No.: 28



lol i really hope you knew it was a joke, kc


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
woody
post Apr 19 2006, 05:26 AM
Post #6





Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,499
Joined: 23-February 06
From: El Paso Texas
Member No.: 32



hahaha

funny jonathan

we all know women lack a sense of humor


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 18th August 2026 - 07:11 AM
Skin made by: skeedio.com