What to do, What to do Options

[Mommy]

So, I just need some random ideas or advice on what to do next year... Here is the story:

Our next baby is due Christmas Day. My husband's official deployment date is January 6th. I thought that would suck a lot because I remember how much pain I was in after I had Donovan, and I really needed his help for the first month. No one ever talks about how horrid the after birth experience is. Even more so, though, we will have this beautiful baby that he will have very little time with. Army regulation is they get exactly 10 days stateside after the birth, and so he will definitely deploy with his unit.

Well, now they are talking about deploying out in October or November because starting in January, the deployment time will be cut from the current one year down to 6-9 months. His unit commanders want one more 1-year deployment under their belt because I guess it looks good on their unit history. He is supposed to be able to come back for 2 weeks of R&R right after the birth of the baby, but who knows how long it will be before he actually gets here. This means I will be here all by myself super pregnant and caring for a 1.5 year old.

My parents won't be able to come stay with me because my brother has a lot of issues at school that require their constant oversight. My grandparents are too sick to come. My husband's parents wouldn't be able to come stay with me either because they both work. My only friend here that isn't in the Army will be leaving to go back home when her husband deploys out. Most of my friends are the ladies in my husband's company. I don't get along too well with Army wives. Most of them are pretty stuck on themselves and think that the world owes them something.

I wanted to move back to El Paso myself, but it would be just too expensive. It would cost around $6k to get all set up and moved there, even more expensive if I left all my stuff in storage because I would have to buy baby furniture. Plus, I don't want to deal with the hassle of getting on-post housing back when he comes home. I want to save a lot of money while he is gone, not waste it all because I will be lonely.

1) What should I do with Donovan while I am in the hospital? I can't take him in there, and even if I could, it would be impossible for me to keep an eye on him while having a baby. I'm guessing my only way out of this one is to make friends with someone who can watch him... I don't want to feel like I am using people.

2) What in the world do I do to keep myself occupied. I'm fancying the idea of working on my Master's online while he is gone, but I don't want to be a recluse. I hate Georgia. I never thought I would say this, but I miss Texas so much. If I could be back there, I would be so happy. Now, I have to stay here and be all alone.

3) Does anyone know of cheap ways to move crap? I looked into PODS, but they will cost $2600 each way. U-haul was about the same.

I do head up his company's FRG (Family Readiness Group) which is basically a support group for military spouses. If something happens to their spouse or they themself have an emergency, I help out. I am currently co-running it with the lady who is leaving when her husband deploys so I'll be doing it all by myself. I guess that's something to occupy some time. I get to send out newsletters and stuff so that's kinda neat.

I know these are very odd questions, I guess I am just looking for some random ideas for while he is gone. It's kinda scary, and I wasn't expecting Shane to be leaving. Having a baby was so emotional the first time, and having Shane there with me was so comforting. I loved how awesome that experience was. Blah... Next year is going to suck.

[FORSAKENR320]

umm... don't get pregnant when your husband is active military?

[Spectatrix]

I'd offer to let you stay with us in Austin, but I'd have to check with the hubby. We'll have a guest bed + bath at the new house, so it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility.

[Mommy]

I'd offer to let you stay with us in Austin, but I'd have to check with the hubby. We'll have a guest bed + bath at the new house, so it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility.

See, staying with a friend and paying some rent would be awesome. It wouldn't be nearly as expensive as staying here, and it would give them some extra money to pay their mortgage. I doubt anyone would want to have two small babies around all the time. I feel I would be too big of a burden. I mean, I feel Donovan is a good sleeper, but he still fusses at 5 am every morning until I bring him in the room to sleep with me... I started him on a bad habit, but it's nice having him sleep with us in the mornings. And then the newborn would be up every 3-4 hours for the first month or two. Ugh. It's a lot of crying at odd hours of the night. I wouldn't want to keep people up.

If I were to go to El Paso, my mom would want me to get my own apartment because she does not think her house is large enough. Too expensive and too much of a hassle.

[Spectatrix]

I doubt we'd hear the kiddos much. The guest bedroom is upstairs, the master is down. You could put your bigger furniture in storage and bring the baby stuff & personal items.

Chris is giving it some thought. How much do you think would be reasonable for rent if we did this thing?

This post has been edited by Spectatrix: May 18 2009, 09:49 PM

[The Fanatic]

Could Donovan stay with your parents in El Paso for a few weeks? Just to lighten what you have to deal with.

[Mommy]

I doubt we'd hear the kiddos much. The guest bedroom is upstairs, the master is down. You could put your bigger furniture in storage and bring the baby stuff & personal items.

Chris is giving it some thought. How much do you think would be reasonable for rent if we did this thing?

I have no idea... what would your bills be like? I could take on the water and electricity and cable/internet or something... or I could pay a fixed amount each month... I just don't know how much would be reasonable. *shrug*

[Mommy]

Could Donovan stay with your parents in El Paso for a few weeks? Just to lighten what you have to deal with.

Hmm interesting idea... I just don't know how well he would fair being away from both Shane and I. I'll put some thought into it though. It's not outside the realm of possibility.

[Spectatrix]

I have no idea... what would your bills be like? I could take on the water and electricity and cable/internet or something... or I could pay a fixed amount each month... I just don't know how much would be reasonable. *shrug*

I'd probably say a fixed amount, just to keep things simple. Maybe something like 400 or 500/month? That's about what an efficiency would run and it would cover our property taxes. Would include utilities, internet, maybe cable, and probably a twice-monthly cleaning service. Also, I'll be completely off from work & school for the two weeks around Christmas/New Years if you need help with getting to the hospital, someone taking care of Donovan, helping you with things around the house after you deliver, etc. I like kiddos, so I totally don't mind helping out.

Mull it over and if you like the idea, we can work out details. I'm totally cool with you and the kiddos living with us for a while and I know that Chris can be convinced.

[Mommy]

Man, Christine, your offer was super generous. I thought about it a lot and was seriously considering it, but I think I have come up with something that will work a little better. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I guess because I always heard that it becomes a nasty situation to go to a hospital outside of my Tricare zone. I recently learned though that it's not that big of a hassle. If my husband leaves around October or November, I will go to El Paso the first week of December and stay there until I have the baby and am well enough to return home. My mom will make the flight back to Jacksonville to help me get the babies settled. Then she will fly home. If Shane leaves in January, my mom will fly down and help me get to El Paso to stay there for a few weeks so I can recover. I think that would work best so that I can return back here to Georgia afterward and not have to worry about clearing housing and then regaining housing once Shane returns from Iraq. Thanks so much for the offer. That would have been a lot of fun. I am going to try to plan a trip to Austin sometime next year, and if I do, it would be great to see you and meet your hubby.

[Spectatrix]

I'm glad that you figured out something that will work well. If you do come visit, you're welcome to stay with us then too, assuming we don't have other house guests at the time.