Damn women are easy to figure out Options

[Oasis]

Didn't see this one coming from a mile away.

I go to this local bar all the time cause I know damn near everyone who goes there. Unlike near every other guy who goes there, I don't go there looking to hook up, although it happens every once in awhile. And I've always avoided dating the girls who worked there, mainly because I was never "bar guy" and gossip around there spreads like goddamned wildfire. I ended up dating one for a little while and we're still good friends. Main point is I go up there to talk business and sports with friends and kick it with a few waitresses and bartenders I'm good friends with.

I ended up telling the owner about all the gambling winnings because we've talked about some business ventures in the past and now the startup capital might be available. I also told a waitress, who's one of my best friends and knows more about me than anyone there; And a few more of my close friends up there. I was never bragging to anyone about actually being rich, other than being proud that a huge gamble and hundreds of hours of research paid off and gave me one helluva stepping stone to future success. I don't give a shit about money and I can't stand when people judge others for what they have or don't have.

Sure enough, word got out. By the 3rd day or so I was the most popular guy at the bar. I wonder why. Girls who I never talked to other than making small talk suddenly think we're good friends. People tell me about all kinds of parties. Girls keep saying "I never knew how cool you were"

Dumb. Fucks.

It's an interesting psychological study on friendship and how shallow people are, though. It'll be interesting to see who still tries to flock around me when they realize they ain't getting a fucking cent of my hard earned money. I don't use money to impress girls and have zero tolerance for girls who are impressed by it. People who know me know this and the whole situation is hilarious to us. There's a reason I never talked to you until last week, honey. And it isn't because I'm shy. In fact it's just the opposite, and you ain't intelligent enough to figure out that I don't associate with people like you. Women.

[woody]

from craigslist (unknown if true)

worth the read

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically:- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

*it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

This post has been edited by woody: Jan 15 2008, 09:49 AM