Guys, listen up! Options

[Mommy]

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/sexualheal...-relationships/

Read this and apply it.

What are some common "crossing the line" crimes?

• Cyber-flirting
• Dirty dancing with people other than your partner
• Buying other girls/guys drinks
• Being too affectionate with members of the opposite sex
• Commenting on the attractiveness of other men/women to your spouse
• Flirting with the waiter/waitress/handyman, etc.

[Oasis]

1. Men Show Off or Try to Impress Too Much

Agree. It's amazing what actually listening to what a girl has to say does. Even if what she has to say is completely uninteresting.

Men Don't Listen to Us When We're Talking.

Ehh. Talk about something interesting and we're all ears. There's a reason 95% of my conversations with guys involves sports and 5% of my conversations with girls involve sports. They couldn't care if Peyton Manning or Tom Brady is better in the clutch. Consequently, don't talk to us about fashion or what's going on in the latest season of Desperate Housewives. We don't. Fucking. Care.

Men Aren't Chivalrous.

There's a fine line between chivalry and being condescending. Holding a door open is chivalrous. Ordering for her at a restaurant is condescending.

Men Don't Take Initiative.

As long as you take initiative and offer ideas you'll both enjoy. And as long as she takes initiative and offers up ideas occasionally. If I take initiative and choose something I want to do, we're going to the sports bar to debate the merits of Brady and Manning in the clutch, or we're going to the batting cage. But under NO circumstance should you ever offer up an idea that involves a play, musical, or opera. NONE.

Men Say They'll Call and Then Don't.

I fucking hate people who do this. If you say you're going to call at a certain time, call at a certain time. If you're having trouble remembering, write it on your fucking arm with a sharpie or something.

Oh, and one other thing. If you say you'll be ready at 8, be ready at 8. Trying to color coordinate your high heels with your halter top is not a valid excuse for why you aren't ready. And speaking of shoes: Unless you'll be wearing your shoes on your breasts, we will not notice them and we certainly won't notice whether they match. And unless you actually bring up your shoes in a conversation, we probably won't even notice you're wearing shoes at all.