Coach, 40, Weds 16-Year-Old Student, in North Carolina Options

[moebary]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1

The Hagers are trying to figure out how life went off track for their teenage daughter, Windy.

They envisioned that life for the good student and promising athlete would be filled with dreams of the prom and college, but that all changed this week when Windy, 16, married her high school track coach.

"She was a dream kid," said her mother, Betty Hager. "We'd never have to worry about Windy trying to get by with something."

At South Brunswick High School in North Carolina, Windy's greatest passion was track and field.

"She just always was outside, always running, and her name's Windy — I guess she was predestined to do love to do that," Betty said.

But that passion led her down a troubling path.

Special Attention From Coach
During Windy's freshman year, her 38-year-old track coach, Brenton Wuchae, began taking a more active interest in her, offering to give the 14-year-old rides home from practice.

"He just seemed like a genuine guy, like he was there for the kids," said Windy's father, Dennis Hager.

But the Hagers eventually grew uneasy. Their phone bills showed text messages between Wuchae and Windy as late as 2 a.m.

They also discovered worrying e-mails. In one, Windy wrote to a friend, "I don't care to look at anyone other than him. He is the apple of my eye, I've never felt this way for someone, but I just don't want to lose him because of my parents' power trips."

The Hagers confronted Wuchae.

"He assured me there was nothing like that going on, [and that] they were just friends. His intentions were purely appropriate," Dennis said.

Not satisfied with that answer, the Hagers turned to the school district, which spoke to the coach.

The principal of the high school wrote to the Hagers, "I have seen nothing but a cooperative attitude from the teacher, and to the best of my knowledge, he has not had any contact with Windy since then."

"School officials can't be responsible for what happens the other hours of the day, and I would think the relationship developed much more outside of school," said Brian Shaw, an attorney for the school district.

The Hagers contacted police; they even tried to get a restraining order.

"We've tried everybody. We've been to the law. We've been to the school board," Betty said. "Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We've had people on the phone with her for hours — family, friends. We've been to our pastor asking for guidance. We've been to his pastor."

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

"Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all," Dennis said.

Monday, Windy and Wuchae married, and he resigned from the school.

But was Windy really old enough to understand her decision? Experts say it's a difficult situation.

"With most teenagers, they're not sure yet who's who and what's what and what should be done," said Henry Paul, author of the book "Is My Teenager OK?" "It's obviously up to the adult figure to set the boundaries."

Windy and her new husband would not comment for this story, but the Hagers realize what they've lost.

"She could have done anything," Betty said. "She could have set the world on fire. She threw it all away."

[Spectatrix]

you are making it sound like he wasnt able to date those his own age or even close to it. there is a problem with that on his end whether mental or emotional. to me thats definitely creepy. and letting it continue to the point of a 40yr old man preying on high school kids is too far.
i can understand that lack of sexual intimacy. i wouldnt expect a person like that to understand, sustain or push any sexual contact.

...

You're making a hell of a lot of asinine assumptions based on the bare bones story I gave you. There was nothing emotionally or mentally wrong with him and he wasn't a creep. He had plenty of friends ranging from college-age to his own age and older. I was friends with him for a year before we got involved. He wasn't sexually inept either, I just wanted to make the point that our relationship didn't revolve around sex. But I guess a guy dating a girl 12 years his junior HAS to be either a creepy, dirty pedophile or a creepy, emotionally/sexually crippled idiot, right?

I would venture to say that, even though you think you're the model of maturity, your anecdote kinda makes my point. You thought you were in love with a 16 year old when you were 18, wanted to get married and your parents opposed. You didn't get married and that was the right thing to do, therefore your parents were right and you were stupid at 18.

His point wasn't that he was a wise, all-knowing love guru when he was 18. His point was that lessons in love are best learned first-hand.

[JRockTTU]

His point wasn't that he was a wise, all-knowing love guru when he was 18. His point was that lessons in love are best learned first-hand.

His point was that parents shouldn't get involved in their children's relationships. My point is that his parents were right and he was wrong, his case is a stretch because he was 18 at the time. Back on topic of this thread, the girl is 16 years old so her parents have every right to be be involved in her relationship with a man that's old enough to be her dad. Maybe it's just me, but I maintain that any man over the age of 30 (and probably way lower) that starts a relationship with a 14 year old girl is either a fucking pervert or a total loser, and either way they should be put in jail. When my future kids go to school I don't want to have to worry that they might start dating some perverted track coach.

[FORSAKENR320]

His point was that parents shouldn't get involved in their children's relationships. My point is that his parents were right and he was wrong, his case is a stretch because he was 18 at the time.

if you read the other part of the story instead of just picking and choosing what helps your arguement more, you'd have read that my parents also interefered in my brothers relationship, and they were wrong.

[JRockTTU]

if you read the other part of the story instead of just picking and choosing what helps your arguement more, you'd have read that my parents also interefered in my brothers relationship, and they were wrong.

But you stated that they interfered with his relationship because of race, not age, so maybe they were misguided. I hold by my opinion that kids are too young to know what's best for them, and to get married, under 18. I don't even think 18 year olds know what they're doing, but that's the age that you get a whole bunch of responsibility. Your anecdote about you at 18 shows that you thought you were ready to marry this girl but you were wrong. I'm guessing by your story that your brother got married at 17? If so, how old is he now, 23 at the oldest? Why wouldn't he just wait a year until they were 18 so that he's out on his own? So like 6 years of marriage, still very young people, they've got plenty of time to change their minds about marriage. If they don't, then I'm glad for them, they are a part of the very small minority of people who get married young and made the right choice.

[FORSAKENR320]

But you stated that they interfered with his relationship because of race, not age, so maybe they were misguided. I hold by my opinion that kids are too young to know what's best for them, and to get married, under 18. I don't even think 18 year olds know what they're doing, but that's the age that you get a whole bunch of responsibility. Your anecdote about you at 18 shows that you thought you were ready to marry this girl but you were wrong. I'm guessing by your story that your brother got married at 17? If so, how old is he now, 23 at the oldest? Why wouldn't he just wait a year until they were 18 so that he's out on his own? So like 6 years of marriage, still very young people, they've got plenty of time to change their minds about marriage. If they don't, then I'm glad for them, they are a part of the very small minority of people who get married young and made the right choice.

you sound like the bitter old man who thinks that no one understands anything or is capable of handling anything simply because of their age.

emotional maturity is earned. and you can't earn it when your parents are telling you who you can and cannot love. parents should stay out of it and let the child learn their mistakes on their own. any interferance by a parent will make the child more stubborn. actually managing to break the relationship before the child could learn the mistake would make the child despise the parent, and because no flaw was made apparent in the said love interest, the child will feel the parent denied them happiness. the only way around that is to be there for the child when the relationship does fall apart.

[JRockTTU]

you sound like the bitter old man who thinks that no one understands anything or is capable of handling anything simply because of their age.

emotional maturity is earned. and you can't earn it when your parents are telling you who you can and cannot love. parents should stay out of it and let the child learn their mistakes on their own. any interferance by a parent will make the child more stubborn. actually managing to break the relationship before the child could learn the mistake would make the child despise the parent, and because no flaw was made apparent in the said love interest, the child will feel the parent denied them happiness. the only way around that is to be there for the child when the relationship does fall apart.

Yeah, because every parent wants to stand by and watch their child get divorced at age 17.