i'm bored so i wrote a country song ... Options

[Dogmeat]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell.....!!!!!

I'm a goin' down to Vegas, gonna get myself a WHORE!
I'm a a goin' down to Vegas, though the price is always more!
Yeah I'm goin' down to Vegas, gonna have myself some fun!
Fuckin' till the cows come home, fuckin' all night long!

So I'm drivin' down here in Vegas, and I'm lookin' for a WHORE!
I'm down here cruisin' round in Vegas, and I see sluts galore!
So I'm a walking down in Vegas, and with my big ol' Stetson hat!
When low and behold what do I see? A whore in a see-thru pair of chaps!

So I mosey on over that way, and I I'm a chattin' with this WHORE!
So I mosey on over this way, and I'm through her bedroom door!
So I mosey on in closer, and I make my fuck stick hard!
I poke her in the pussy, and then I give her my business card!

So I'm high rollin' down in Vegas, already fucked me one slutty whore!
So I'm rollin' down here in Vegas, when somebody stole my car!
So I ain't got no way a gettin home, I'm shit outta luck!
Well that's all fine and good, cuz I'm such a fucking slut!


I'll SUCK DICK FOR A RIDE HOME!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!!!!!!!

[Mommy]

well i went down to the grundy county auction
where i saw something i just had to have.
my mind told me i should proceed with caution,
but my heart said, "go ahead and make a bid on that!"

and i said, hey, pretty lady, won’t you give me a sign
i'd give anything to make you mine, all mine
i'll do your bidding and be at your beckon call
yeah, i never seen anyone looking so fine
man, i gotta have her, she's a one-of-a-kind
i'm going once, going twice,
i'm sold to the lady in the second row
she's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, I know
she's got ruby red lips, blonde hair, blue eyes
and i'm about to bid my heart good-bye!

well, the auctioneer was going about a mile a minute
he was taking bids and calling them out loud
and i guess i was really getting in it
because i just shouted out above the crowd!

and i said, hey, pretty lady, won't you give me a sign
i'd give anything to make you mine, all mine
i'll do your bidding and be at your beckon call
yeah, i never seen anyone lookin' so fine
man, i gotta have her, she's a one-of-a-kind
i'm going once, going twice,
i'm sold to the lady in the long black dress
well she won my heart it was no contest
with her ruby red lips, blonde hair, blue eyes
well i'm about to bid my heart good-bye!

yeah, we found love on the auction block
and i hauled her heart away
now we still love to laugh about
the way we met that day

when i said, hey, pretty lady, won't you give me a sign
i'd give anything to make you mine all mine
i'll do your bidding and be at your beckon call
yeah, i never seen anyone looking so fine
man, i gotta have her, she's a one-of-a-kind
i'm going once, going twice,
i'm sold to the lady in the second row
she's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, i know
she's got ruby red lips, blond hair blue eyes

this used to be my favorite song when I was like 10 years old. I had a crush on John Michael Montegomery