my brush with death Options

[Seeker]

Something incredible happened to me today. I had just started my car when the whole engine suddenly collapsed through itself in six seconds, leaving nothing but a pile of demolished and partially molten steel on the road.

Not long ago I would have thought this an odd event, but thanks to recent breakthroughs in science I now know what must have happened.

The burning hydrocarbons (in this case, gasoline) in the cylinders must have caused "Thermal Expansion" to occur. This in turn caused all of the steel components underneath the cylinders to fail simultaneously, enabling the engine to fall through itself. The weight of the engine itself probably assisted collapse.

Obviously I was shaken. To calm myself down, I went indoors to make a cup of coffee. I lit the gas stove, and put my kettle on to boil.

Big mistake.

Thermal Expansion struck again. The kettle collapsed right through itself, spilling boiling water everywhere. And then the goddam stove collapsed through itself too. I'd forgotten it was only made of steel. Faced with unforeseeable temperatures, one critical, load-bearing part must have given way.

This is a serious problem. I'd suggest encasing steel in something fireproof, like concrete or asbestos, but I'm not sure that will work. Perhaps steel items like kettles, stoves, and engines could be reinforced to support their own weight? Perhaps expansion joints could be incorporated, like in buildings?

I don't know.

[Mommy]

Too bad the whole "reinforced steal doesn't quickly collapse under extreme heat" theory was disproved when a semi truck carrying natural gas exploded in San Fransisco, melting the reinforced steal on a bridge and causing it to collapse.

[Billy]

Too bad the whole "reinforced steal doesn't quickly collapse under extreme heat" theory was disproved when a semi truck carrying natural gas exploded in San Fransisco, melting the reinforced steal on a bridge and causing it to collapse.

Another government conspiracy to cover up the 9/11 conspiracy.