cell block H Options

[jonathan83]

first night completed!
her family must be so proud.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8...;show_article=1

[JRockTTU]

OMG, this is such important news that we should be kept up to date on it on the front page of ever news website and hear about it on every news show!!!!

/sarcasm
/rant

PS, I think she forgot to take her Valtrex right before she went in.

[Inferia]

does this give her enough street cred. to start a rap career?

[FORSAKENR320]

does this give her enough street cred. to start a rap career?

more than most of the rappers out there...

[jwttu]

does this give her enough street cred. to start a rap career?

oh god don't give her anymore ideas, we see/hear enough of her as it is

[jonathan83]

so many girls love her... she's not even good looking.
seriously, does anyone find her attractive???

[chook]

I think she is good looking, cept for the wig thing :-P

[psidancer]

You should googe/youtube Sarah Silverman's monologue from this years MTV awards. Her rip on Paris is hilarious. I'd link the video but they're getting removed as fast as they get posted.

[jonathan83]

why? bc of content or copyright?

[James]

Probably copyright. I saw the clip on the news yesterday.

[Testm0nkey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7gogInyy04
"i want to look just like lindsey lohan"
coke not included
re: horribly bad mothers

[FORSAKENR320]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7gogInyy04
"i want to look just like lindsey lohan"
coke not included
re: horribly bad mothers

hey, i remember a couple months ago you went through your linsey-look-alike stint......

i distinctly remember you getting pissed, getting addicted to coke, and throwing a tantrum on the floor of walmart because you didn't have big enough tits

[False Dude]

cell block h made me think of this

[griseyeux]

Paris Hilton has a nose longer than the titanic and lips like a duck. Not attractive. She does have sort of cute tits, though. She's bow-legged slightly and one of her eyes is more closed than the other.

I wish I had seen sarah silverman on the mtv movie awards.

[cupcake]

care factor:






























zero

[FORSAKENR320]

[James]

She's already out of jail according to tmz.com.

[cupcake]

It all started with OJ, and it's been downhill since.

I have lost faith in popular culture in america.

The revolution is nigh!

[schwab]

...this makes me sick, she probably was in there whinning constantly about missing her dog and got out

i really hope she fucking leaves her property like the stupid slut she is and gets busted

[Inferia]

I didn't realized that they released prisoners because they didn't want to be there and whined too much =P

[Spectatrix]

They put her under house arrest for "medical reasons". Supposedly, she was refusing to eat most of the jail food.

[schwab]

They put her under house arrest for "medical reasons". Supposedly, she was refusing to eat most of the jail food.

then let her starve who the fuck cares...thats no reason to get out on

[cupcake]

house arrest is like having detention where you play playstation.

what the fuck?

I hate that cunt.

[Mommy]

Especially when you own a multi million dollar home.... she probably has countless dvd's, cd's, bottles of booze. lucky bitch

hey, I wonder with my picky eating habits if they would ever let me do that if I got arrested. I guarantee I would starve before I ate any of that stuff.

[JRockTTU]

Mark it down, because this will be the ONLY time you ever see me agree with Al Sharpton.

The highly moral reverend has already released a statement, I just can't find it online. He is complaining about the justice system and how it has failed us once again (he is pals with Paris, so he doesn't blame it on her). He talks about how he has served multiple sentences and never had his sentence reduced and how he fasted in prison, which put his life at danger, but was never released for medical reasons. If her not eating is why she was released then it's a big crock of shit (like it wasn't already, lol).

Time for me to piss of liberals. This is what I fucking hate about a liberal state like California. To Texans, jail is meant to punish you for your crime, so you suffer while you're in jail. Liberals think that jail should be for rehabilitation, so poor Paris is suffering, which isn't conducive to her rehabilitation, she is let out. Let's make her nice and cozy in her GIANT mansion on house arrest.

The only thing more enraging than this whole situation is the fact that it's shoved in our faces by the media and we're forced to form an opinion on it.

[blaarg]

hey, I wonder with my picky eating habits if they would ever let me do that if I got arrested. I guarantee I would starve before I ate any of that stuff.

Hey, I'm sure they serve french fries, so you would be ok (as long as they don't touch the inside of your can of spam or whatever the fuck they eat as "meat")

[blaarg]

To Texans, jail is meant to punish you for your crime, so you suffer while you're in jail.

That isn't entirely true, they have more amenities than my apartment (cable, regular meals, non-bummed-wireless-from-neighbor, etc...) even in Texas jails:

http://info.sos.state.tx.us/pls/pub/readta...;ti=37&pt=9

[Inferia]

Time for me to piss of liberals. This is what I fucking hate about a liberal state like California. To Texans, jail is meant to punish you for your crime, so you suffer while you're in jail.

I think liberals want Paris in prison just as much as the conservatives

[Spectatrix]

I think liberals want Paris in prison just as much as the conservatives

I know I do.

[Testm0nkey]

shes already out of prison. she refused to eat much of their food so she gets house confinement


yay legal system

[knucklehead]

I thought I had read she was planning on doing a book about her prison experience or some shit? Is that right?

Maybe now it'll just be a short story, or a lovely haiku.

[cupcake]

I am so annoyed with the media and their darlings that I cannot see straight.

I no longer believe it is middle america who is fucked...it's the media.

don't try that who created who thing...it's them. a poll on CNN shows 97% of americans think this paris thing is bullshit.

and Bono at the motherfucking G8 summit?!? I'm pretty sure Putin didn't invite his fatass...but it's a media spectacle so he's there. he's like sally struthers with $300 glasses.

he wants to end poverty in africa and wants my money?!? motherfucker take 10% of your assets and give it to them and that whole godforsaken shithole of a continent would eat for a year.

and what is money/aid going to do? not a goddamn thing because those people are volatile, self destructive, dumbshits who'd just waste each other til all the dough is gone.

it all started with OJ...

we have lost control. americans no longer control america.

the media does.

which means, the jews do.

fuckin jews...

[FORSAKENR320]

I am so annoyed with the media and their darlings that I cannot see straight.

I no longer believe it is middle america who is fucked...it's the media.

don't try that who created who thing...it's them. a poll on CNN shows 97% of americans think this paris thing is bullshit.

and Bono at the motherfucking G8 summit?!? I'm pretty sure Putin didn't invite his fatass...but it's a media spectacle so he's there. he's like sally struthers with $300 glasses.

he wants to end poverty in africa and wants my money?!? motherfucker take 10% of your assets and give it to them and that whole godforsaken shithole of a continent would eat for a year.

and what is money/aid going to do? not a goddamn thing because those people are volatile, self destructive, dumbshits who'd just waste each other til all the dough is gone.

it all started with OJ...

we have lost control. americans no longer control america.

the media does.

which means, the jews do.

fuckin jews...

::loads shotgun::

YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAWWWW!

[FORSAKENR320]

I am so annoyed with the media and their darlings that I cannot see straight.

I no longer believe it is middle america who is fucked...it's the media.

don't try that who created who thing...it's them. a poll on CNN shows 97% of americans think this paris thing is bullshit.

and Bono at the motherfucking G8 summit?!? I'm pretty sure Putin didn't invite his fatass...but it's a media spectacle so he's there. he's like sally struthers with $300 glasses.

he wants to end poverty in africa and wants my money?!? motherfucker take 10% of your assets and give it to them and that whole godforsaken shithole of a continent would eat for a year.

and what is money/aid going to do? not a goddamn thing because those people are volatile, self destructive, dumbshits who'd just waste each other til all the dough is gone.

it all started with OJ...

we have lost control. americans no longer control america.

the media does.

which means, the jews do.

fuckin jews...

yup... definately cupcake

[jonathan83]

shes already out of prison. she refused to eat much of their food so she gets house confinement
yay legal system

yes i believe that was established.

[Testm0nkey]

ooops didnt see it that far up the thread from where i posted

[JRockTTU]

I am so annoyed with the media and their darlings that I cannot see straight.

I no longer believe it is middle america who is fucked...it's the media.

don't try that who created who thing...it's them. a poll on CNN shows 97% of americans think this paris thing is bullshit.

and Bono at the motherfucking G8 summit?!? I'm pretty sure Putin didn't invite his fatass...but it's a media spectacle so he's there. he's like sally struthers with $300 glasses.

he wants to end poverty in africa and wants my money?!? motherfucker take 10% of your assets and give it to them and that whole godforsaken shithole of a continent would eat for a year.

and what is money/aid going to do? not a goddamn thing because those people are volatile, self destructive, dumbshits who'd just waste each other til all the dough is gone.

it all started with OJ...

we have lost control. americans no longer control america.

the media does.

which means, the jews do.

fuckin jews...

Who else is going to write in "Cupcake Jon" on their presidential ballot in '08?

[jonathan83]

now they're saying the "medical issue" was because she was suicidal...

[JRockTTU]

now they're saying the "medical issue" was because she was suicidal...

As our collective dream of three weeks living in a Paris Hilton-less world was shattered this morning by the news that the heiress was released from prison after serving only 5 days of her sentence due to “medical reasons”, Entertainment Tonight is now bringing us more about the specifics surrounding her malady, and in a case of life imitating hacky headline jokes, it turns out her medical issue actually was “a rash”, meaning it MIGHT be herpes. Here’s the latest:

Sources close to the Hilton family tell ET the medical reason was actually a rash she developed on her body.

According to People, Paris was having trouble behind bars. “She cries all day,” a source told the magazine. “She looks unwashed, she has no makeup and her hair is tangled. She cried audibly through the first two nights.”

So was this mysterious skin ailment, as logic would suggest, the result of some kind of sexually-transmitted disease flare-up, or is Paris just physically allergic to not being photographed? Only time will tell…



It'll take a while before we know what for sure, but it will come out. Right now it's all rumors with the goal of fueling the issue and bringing more attention to it.

[jonathan83]

Also, it's BS that the jail is saying she already served 5 days in jail.

She checked it at 10:30pm the first night and they're considering that a day.
She checked out at 2:am this morning so that's also considered another day.

I wonder how many jail authorities were paid and how much.

[Testm0nkey]

because um if people with AIDS have to live in prison a coochie with the herps certainly should. if i was in jail there id be all over this shit with my lawyer. "aw man im itching REAL bad! i want to die!"

[False Dude]

Oh no the justice system is crashing down around us. Rich people getting out of jail.

[JRockTTU]

Also, it's BS that the jail is saying she already served 5 days in jail.

She checked it at 10:30pm the first night and they're considering that a day.
She checked out at 2:am this morning so that's also considered another day.

I wonder how many jail authorities were paid and how much.

It's a hole in the California laws that they took advantage of.

[Testm0nkey]

i may have missed it but do you know the specific or even general loophole she went around?

[JRockTTU]

i may have missed it but do you know the specific or even general loophole she went around?

Whatever day you show up, you get credit for that day. She went in at 11:30pm on Sunday, so she gets credit for Sunday. Same thing with leaving this morning at 2am so she gets credit for today.


And as for my last post: They've got some lady on The O'Reilly Factor right now that is saying she knows for sure that her medical problem is mental. She wasn't eating, sleeping, she was crying all night, basically how everybody feels in jail.

[Testm0nkey]

ah ok i just didnt know when she was in jail. that makes sense than

[Testm0nkey]

UH OH!!!!!!!

The Los Angeles City Attorney has filed a motion asking the judge who sentenced Paris Hilton to have her returned to jail to serve out her full sentence.

In the documents obtained by TMZ, City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo is also asking Judge Michael Sauer to hold a hearing, demanding that the Sheriff's Department show why it should not be held in contempt of court for violating Judge Sauer's May 4, 2007 order, which expressly stated "no electronic monitoring."

i hope the people who were responsible for getting her out are getting a talking to

paris hilton

I did have a choice to go to a pay jail," Hilton said Sunday, without giving details. "But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I'm not and that's why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I'm going to be treated like everyone else. I'm going to do the time, I'm going to do it the right way."

[Mommy]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070608/ap_on_en_tv/paris_hilton

yeesh....

"It's not right!" shouted the weeping Hilton. "Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.

[impala454]

Back to jail bitch!


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLO
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LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL
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OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOL
O
LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOL
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LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL
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LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL
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L
OL

[blaarg]

Photo from drudge:

[impala454]

it'd be hilarious if she went berserk and got tasered or somethin

edit: you know in those pics she bares a striking resemblance to martha stewart...

[Spectatrix]

Boo fucking hoo.

[jonathan83]

hahahhahahhhahah

[blaarg]

best part:

When Hilton was getting into the police car, she screamed out "Mom!"

LOLOLLLOLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL

[cmac]

new news that she's been taken to the Los Angeles County Medical Center Jail Ward

[jonathan83]

best part:

When Hilton was getting into the police car, she screamed out "Mom!"

LOLOLLLOLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL

she didn't say it when she was getting in the police car, but in the courtroom.

Screaming and crying, Paris Hilton was escorted from a courtroom and ordered back to jail Friday after a judge, overruling the county sheriff, said she must serve out her entire 45-day sentence behind bars rather than in her Hollywood Hills home.

"It's not right!" shouted Hilton, who violated her probation in a reckless driving case. "Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.

Earlier Friday, the 26-year-old hotel heiress was handcuffed and taken from her home in a black-and-white police car, paparazzi sprinting in pursuit and helicopters broadcasting live from above. She entered the courtroom disheveled and weeping, hair askew, without makeup, wearing a fuzzy gray sweat shirt over slacks.

She cried throughout the hearing, dabbing her eyes, and her body shook constantly. Several times, she turned to her parents, seated behind her in the courtroom, and mouthed, "I love you."

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/08/p...n.ap/index.html

[GOB]

i bet she was lesboraped

[FORSAKENR320]

i want to send her a care-package.


by care package i mean double layer chocolate cake where the icing inbetween the layers is made from my own feces.

[GOB]

Photo from drudge:

it's just so depressing, seeing somebody suffer the consequences of their own actions. glad we haven't had a system built on that for two hundred years in this country or people would be crying in the back of police cars every day.


edit: i would love to be the cop driving that car.

[pysex]

it's just so depressing, seeing somebody suffer the consequences of their own actions. glad we haven't had a system built on that for two hundred years in this country or people would be crying in the back of police cars every day.
edit: i would love to be the cop driving that car.

roffle

[griseyeux]

I have seen the tears of paris hilton....one small goal is accomplished. now to beat avril lavigne senselessly.

I love the fact that the reason they wanted to remove her was because of an "undisclosed illness." I wonder if they're somehow trying to say that her herpes will flare up because she can't take her valtrex or something. Hilarious.

[JRockTTU]

I have seen the tears of paris hilton....one small goal is accomplished. now to beat avril lavigne senselessly.

I love the fact that the reason they wanted to remove her was because of an "undisclosed illness." I wonder if they're somehow trying to say that her herpes will flare up because she can't take her valtrex or something. Hilarious.

It's already come out, as people said in this thread, that the "illness" was mental.

[blaarg]

Is it too far fetched that the Hilton's paid off the head of the sheriffs dept. to let her go early and played it off as some sort of nonexistent "illness"?

[jonathan83]

Is it too far fetched that the Hilton's paid off the head of the sheriffs dept. to let her go early and played it off as some sort of nonexistent "illness"?

nope. thats probably what happened, and nevertheless, i hope the sheriff's dept is investigated.

[James]

On the news all-fucking-day yesterday. Wanted to gouge my eyes out

[JRockTTU]

Is it too far fetched that the Hilton's paid off the head of the sheriffs dept. to let her go early and played it off as some sort of nonexistent "illness"?

I was going to post these links yesterday but didn't. Since you bring it up, I will.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007...family-cash.php

Sheriff Lee Baca, the Los Angeles law-enforcement official who ordered Hilton released from jail after serving only three days in her 45-day sentence, accepted a $1,000 campaign donation last year from William Barron Hilton—Paris's grandfather. That contribution constituted the maximum amount allowable under California campaign rules.

http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/08/aggressive-judge-signs-order/

In big, bold strokes, the judge scrawled his order, demanding that the Sheriff's Department bring Paris to court. TMZ first reported that the Sheriff refused to cooperate, on grounds the judge did not have jurisdiction.

The order reads, "LASD [Los Angeles Sheriff's Department] directed to bring D [actually a triangle -- meaning defendant] to court!!"

[dauss]

[griseyeux]

It's already come out, as people said in this thread, that the "illness" was mental.

yeah but since when are stupidity,promiscuousness and spoiled bitchyness mental illnesses?

[FORSAKENR320]

yeah but since when are stupidity,promiscuousness and spoiled bitchyness mental illnesses?

every girl who posts in this thread (and several of the men) would be considered mentally ill

[JRockTTU]

yeah but since when are stupidity,promiscuousness and spoiled bitchyness mental illnesses?

The Hilton family has a psychiatrist on their payroll that went in to see her a few times and suggested that it was unsafe, mentally, for her to remain at the prison. It's the same psychiatrist that she had testify on her behalf a few months ago in a civil trial and said that she was not mentally fit to stand trial at the moment because of the stress of her upcoming criminal trial. Then she was out partying two nights later.

I'm too lazy to find the dirt on this guy, but one of the people on the news (think it was a TMZ guy) was saying that this is the same doctor that advised some of the kids that were suing Michael Jackson for molestation. After he talked to the kids they changed their stories and Dr. Sophy got a promotion.

[blaarg]

New report I just saw:

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/06/...the_potty_.html

Some highlights:

Hilton also suffered from "extreme claustrophobia" and began hyperventilating and freaking out.
"She cried the entire time, and that wasn't helping the dehydration," the source said.

Baca suggested Hilton was on suicide watch last night, saying she would be kept under close scrutiny to ensure "there isn't anything harmful done to herself by herself, which is a great concern to me."

[jonathan83]

she's too dumb to figure out how to kill herself

[THECHICKEN]

I thought they were gonna paint the bars to look like penises so she'd be more comfortable.

[GOB]

I thought they were gonna paint the bars to look like penises so she'd be more comfortable.

haha, yeah maybe she wouldn't have freaked out had she been in a man jail.

[chook]

New report I just saw:

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/06/...the_potty_.html

Some highlights:

Funny how the cell is less crowded than some clubs and how that everyone who wanted to see her vaj on the net could of already.

[impala454]

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headli...nt/4875499.html

"I used to act dumb. ... That act is no longer cute," ABC quoted Hilton as saying.

LOL

[knucklehead]

Well she IS a brilliant actress..... what movie was that again?

And she couldn't possibly be dumb, she did homeschooling and got herself a GED !

[impala454]

Good Enough Diploma

[Inferia]

Okay, Paris is out of the joint, we can move on with our lives once again.

[James]

I hate you...

[griseyeux]

I love that all of the blond starlets are always "pretending" to act stupid for comic effect. Because I mean they're really secretly geniuses they're just afraid that men will start wanting to date them for their iqs instead of for their tits and ass.


"hey baby? (belch)"

"yeah Jess"

"Is this chicken or tuna?"

[James]

Pretending to act stupid is not the exclusive domain of blonde starlets. It is very common among adolescent females and has been for decades. Why should she be any different?

[blaarg]

can we just word replace "paris hilton" with "lindsay lohan" and save ourselves a forum topic?

[Inferia]

I must say Paris's mug shot is much better than that of Lindsay's...

[cupcake]

jokes about spoiled white girls aside...

it's a terrible shame and tragic, but the fall and demise of the feline dilettante is nothing inherent to just this generation...

The amount of fame, money, and notoriety is inversely proportional to the longevity of the socialite female...or so it seems.

Marilyn...

but forever and still my favorite waste...





I could have saved that broken bird...

[jonathan83]

wait, so lohan is in jail?

[James]

She had a short stay before getting bailed out...man, just go read foxnews.com. I'm sure it's plastered all over that damn site until we get enough angry e-mails like happened with Paris to make them stop reporting on the broad 24-7. I bet they're talking about her right now, unless there's been a terror incident, and even then, I bet they're talking about her.

Let's find out...

Well, I'll be. They're talking about how the economy is "failing" instead. Better than Lohan at least.