The Wish Granted Game Options

[Spectatrix]

I saw this on another forum and thought it sounded fun. Each person makes a wish (e.g. "I wish for a million dollars"). The next person grants/crushes that wish (e.g. "But you wasted it all on cheap prostitutes and watered-down beer") and makes their own wish.

I wish I had Force powers.

[Psykopath]

Your wish is hereby granted!!!!






































...on the condition you "force" me to orgasm from afar! giggity giggity

This post has been edited by Psykopath: Nov 4 2006, 06:34 PM

[Spectatrix]

1) Don't forget the emoticons:
2) You forgot to add a new wish.

[griseyeux]

I wish to memorize every novel ever written.

[Xentither]

granted, but you're rendered a slobbering savant who spurts random lines of Hemmingway when asked if you're hungry.

I wish I knew how to write comics worth a damn and draw them decently too.

[TetraGrammaton C...]

1) Don't forget the emoticons:
2) You forgot to add a new wish.

you would be able to, had you not filled your mind with so much saturday night live trivia.


i wish i was better at code breaking.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted, but you're rendered a slobbering savant who spurts random lines of Hemmingway when asked if you're hungry.

I wish I knew how to write comics worth a damn and draw them decently too.

granted, you even manage to land a super high paying job working for disney's animation department, though you soon get fired and turn homeless, on the grounds you refused to put the mandatory amount of profanity, sexual symbolism and vaguely drawn penis in your work.


i wish i had the ability to control time

[Xentither]

that is a lie and you know it.

Granted, but every time you use the power, home made weapons become less interesting.

I wish Sleeping wasn't necessary and I was never bored.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. next week you will get very familiar with a local speed and meth dealer


i wish that my days would be filled with happiness and rainbows

[Xentither]

granted, come out of the closet already.

BUUUUUUURN

I wish Meth was legal and had no LD50 and was safer than Caffiene.

[Dogmeat]

I am now dropping a 50-ton bag of wonder-meth on your head, with no addictive properties or side effects.

I wish I had a pony!

[Divergent Realit...]

your pony has a taste for human flesh.

i wish duct tape smelled like toothpaste.

[pysex]

your pony has a taste for human flesh.

i wish duct tape smelled like toothpaste.

granted, but people start dying from choking on tape due to the fact they think it's toothpaste....



i wish you would all shut up

[GOB]

denied, you get raped.



i wish i still had all that beer i drank this weekend.

[pysex]

denied, you get raped.
i wish i still had all that beer i drank this weekend.

denied...i was raped by your beer


i wish beer would taste better

[Jyan]

denied...i was raped by your beer
i wish beer would taste better

Granted, but now everything else tastes like beer.

I wish I could read people's minds.

[Trespass]

Granted, but now everything else tastes like beer.

I wish I could read people's minds.

Denied, but as a conciliation prize you can now read the mind of cats.

I wish for A's in law school

[impala454]

Denied, but as a conciliation prize you can now read the mind of cats.

I wish for A's in law school

Granted, you'll become a great lawyer and get shot at the age of 28 by the guy you put in jail's friends

I wish I had a billion dollars and nobody knew about it (i.e. so I could be rich but not famous for it)

[Seeker]

Granted, but your billions are tied up in hard to liquidate equities.

I wish I had morphing abilities like Mystique from xmen.

[FORSAKENR320]

Granted, but your billions are tied up in hard to liquidate equities.

I wish I had morphing abilities like Mystique from xmen.

granted, but you soon find that your morphing abilities refuse to work on your small child-like penis



i wish i was an oscar mayer wiener

[Seeker]

granted, but you soon find that your morphing abilities refuse to work on your small child-like penis
i wish i was an oscar mayer wiener

Granted, but as soon as you became an oscar mayer wiener you were used as a prop in a bad gay porno movie with hairy motorcycle dudes.

I wish Starbucks would bring back the Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. one day you walk outside right into the midst of a flock of homosexual cannibal rapist gerbils who perforate your skin with toothpick stab wounds then proceed to fuck said stab wounds

i wish we never got old

[Seeker]

granted but only you don't get old, you have to watch all your loved ones get old and you have to fuck your wife (or husband?) when she's in her 90s

i wish daylight savings time would be abolished

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but then we discover that those energy savings actually meant something -- we burn through the remaining coal and oil in two years and are left without a reliable alternate fuel infrastructure, ruining civilized life as we know it.

I wish I had an IQ of 200.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. but you spend your life isolated and an outcast from normal society because of it. driving you to one day invent the sex bot


i wish i had a sex bot

[GOB]

granted, but the only available bot is a man.




i wish i had some ice cream

[FORSAKENR320]

granted, but the only available bot is a man.
i wish i had some ice cream

granted. but the only flavor available in Ben & jerry's Diarrhea and Placenta Berries




i wish i had more music by The Cure

[Dogmeat]

*CRUSH*

There will be no more music by the Cure because they all masturjackoffabate to squirrelporn!

I wish I had a stealth potholder

[Xentither]

granted, but you forget where you put it.

I wish I could turn ssj16^bazillion.

[Divergent Realit...]

granted, but you forget where you put it.

I wish I could turn ssj16^bazillion.

granted, but your power is so immense you cannot comprehend how it even operates.


i wish mountain dew had more essential vitamins and minerals.

[pysex]

granted, but your power is so immense you cannot comprehend how it even operates.
i wish mountain dew had more essential vitamins and minerals.

granted, but then you die from a caffeine overdose due to a gross manufacturing oversight



i wish i could dance like a black guy

[Xentither]

Granted, now the only females you attract are 300+ lbs.

I wish people who posted in Techsans were funny.

[Divergent Realit...]

Granted, now the only females you attract are 300+ lbs.

I wish people who posted in Techsans were funny.

granted, but you dont get it. ever.

i wish i the day had more hours.

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but work hours increase proportionally and you don't get a net pay raise.

I wish I wasn't so bored...

[Divergent Realit...]

Granted, but work hours increase proportionally and you don't get a net pay raise.

I wish I wasn't so bored...

granted, but you find the end to your everlasting boredom through physical love with dogmeat.

i wish ninjas moved a little slower.

[Seeker]

granted, but they can still kick your ass

i wish america would ban electronic voting machines

[Divergent Realit...]

granted, but they can still kick your ass

i wish america would ban electronic voting machines

granted, but they move to a more town meeting voting style where everyone who wishes to vote must go to 'island america' in the middle of the pacific to vote.


i wish i could turn in a piece of art instead of a paper for senior seminar.

[Psykopath]

granted, but they move to a more town meeting voting style where everyone who wishes to vote must go to 'island america' in the middle of the pacific to vote.
i wish i could turn in a piece of art instead of a paper for senior seminar.

Granted, but that piece of "art" is a very artistically written 25-page paper.


I wish all of this unpacking was finished.

[pysex]

granted, but they move to a more town meeting voting style where everyone who wishes to vote must go to 'island america' in the middle of the pacific to vote.
i wish i could turn in a piece of art instead of a paper for senior seminar.

granted, but you fail miserably because they don't accept furry porn



i wish i had some moon money

[Divergent Realit...]

granted, but you fail miserably because they don't accept furry porn
i wish i had some moon money

granted, but 'moon money' is in fact, furry porn.

i wish i know where all my classwork has dissapeared to.

[Jyan]

granted, but 'moon money' is in fact, furry porn.

i wish i know where all my classwork has dissapeared to.

granted, but it all disappeared into dogmeat's asshole.

i wish there was a movie about my life

[Trespass]

granted, but it all disappeared into dogmeat's asshole.

i wish there was a movie about my life

Granted but only 3 people see it, and the 2 others both borrowed it from your house (didn't buy it) in which they ask for thier time back.

I wish google WASN'T going to become self aware in 2012 and destroy the world.

[Jim]

Granted but only 3 people see it, and the 2 others both borrowed it from your house (didn't buy it) in which they ask for thier time back.

I wish google WASN'T going to become self aware in 2012 and destroy the world.

Granted. However, it it becomes self aware in 2011.


I wish I had more days off.

[Trespass]

Granted. However, it it becomes self aware in 2011.
I wish I had more days off.

Granted... You are fired

I wish had some pizza right now.

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but the only available pizza is covered in anchovies.

I wish I knew psychokinesis.

[impala454]

Granted, but the only available pizza is covered in anchovies.

I wish I knew psychokinesis.

granted, but you go all jean gray in your sleep and kill everyone within a 30 mile radius before wolverine stuffs his claws through your chest

I wish it was 5:00 pm

[Billy]

granted, but you go all jean gray in your sleep and kill everyone within a 30 mile radius before wolverine stuffs his claws through your chest

I wish it was 5:00 pm

Granted, but your death sentence is carried out at 5:05 p.m.

I wish I had a 4.0 gpa for the semester.

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but you have to sleep with all of your profs to get it.

I wish the sky was purple.

[Jyan]

Granted, but you have to sleep with all of your profs to get it.

I wish the sky was purple.

Granted, but you become colorblind, so it still looks blue.

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.

[impala454]

Granted, but you become colorblind, so it still looks blue.

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.

granted, you think of some worthless wish only to have it shot down by others in this pointless ass thread that's fun enough to be slightly entertaining

I wish I had a working lightsaber

[Trespass]

granted, you think of some worthless wish only to have it shot down by others in this pointless ass thread that's fun enough to be slightly entertaining

I wish I had a working lightsaber

Denied, but you get lightnunchucks

I wish for more wishes

[impala454]

Denied, but you get lightnunchucks

I wish for more wishes

Granted, but your wish for more wishes rips a hole in the space-time continuum and destroys the entire universe

I wish I had a real working holodek

[Dogmeat]

Granted, but your wish for more wishes rips a hole in the space-time continuum and destroys the entire universe

I wish I had a real working holodek

Grantd, but only under the condition that you let me come over to use it so I can fuck whatever slut I want to program it for in it

I wish I had a real job offer right now

[BlueBarry]

Grantd, but only under the condition that you let me come over to use it so I can fuck whatever slut I want to program it for in it

I wish I had a real job offer right now

Denied, since you are going to be my beer bitch for the rest of your life


i wish i had money right now

[Xentither]

denied bebause you aren't supposed to deny wishes in the wish granted game you silly bunts. Bould everyone please stop denying wishes, it's a very sad thing to do

I wish I didn't replace my...... see's' with b's.

[The Fanatic]

Denied, since you are going to be my beer bitch for the rest of your life
i wish i had money right now

Granted, you will find a one dollar bill on the sidewalk

I wish I would win the lottery

[Divergent Realit...]

Granted, you will find a one dollar bill on the sidewalk

I wish I would win the lottery

granted, but you are wrongly arrested and blow all the lottery earnings on taxes and legal fees.

i wish people would clean up their dog's shit at the apartment i live in.

[The Fanatic]

Granted, however the dogs find a way into your apartment and shit all over your bed.

[impala454]

I wish people would follow the rules of the thread

[pebkac]

I wish people would follow the rules of the thread

Granted, but people only follow the rules because Lance banned all but 2 people.

I wish I were through with school.

[The Fanatic]

Granted, you finish your undergrad and go on to get a PHD which takes you 11 long years.

I wish my kitten did not climb my curtains

[FORSAKENR320]

granted, but you find that he doesn't move around alot anymore since you cut his legs off.

i wish i had a Phaser with a "can o' whup ass" setting

[GOB]

granted, but you accidentally use it on yourself



i wish i didn't have to get my brakes replaced

[pebkac]

Granted. However it's not much use since phaser batteries won't be invented for another 300 years.

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. you are now the tallest gay man in your local bowling league.

i wish i had the power to do voodoo

[Jim]

Granted, but you are then stuck making movies like "Weekend at Bernie's 2"

I wish I could play the BC Beta right now instead of have to wait for the updater to finish installing >.<

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. you later find out you ruin your computer with all kinds of software problems because you didn't let it finish downloading.


i wish i knew more about computers so i could tell if thats actually possible or not.

[The Fanatic]

granted. you later find out you ruin your computer with all kinds of software problems because you didn't let it finish downloading.
i wish i knew more about computers so i could tell if thats actually possible or not.

Granted, but now you have knowledge of nothing but computers


I wish I was not getting sick

[impala454]

granted, you're cured but then later find out it wasn't really a sickness but a metamorphesis into a new life form which is all knowing and all powerful, and since you wished it away you're just a regular human nobody.

I wish I could decide which gun to buy

[Seeker]

granted, but to help in your decision you hire a gang of hoodlums to each fire a different type of firearm into you to help you pick the one that causes the most pain

i wish kinky would win the election

[The Fanatic]

Granted, but Rick Perry proclaims himself "emperor of texas" and refuses to let Kinky take over as Governor.

I wish my room was clean

[Seeker]

granted, but your room is a prison since you tried to assassinate rick perry when he declared himself emperor

i wish michael jackson would quit molesting little boys

[Trespass]

granted, but your room is a prison since you tried to assassinate rick perry when he declared himself emperor

i wish michael jackson would quit molesting little boys

Granted, instead he molests you.

I wish i didn't have so much reading in contracts!

[The Fanatic]

Granted, instead he molests you.

I wish i didn't have so much reading in contracts!

Granted, You dont read the contracts and get screwed

I wish I would just quit smoking

This post has been edited by Dr. Gonzo: Nov 7 2006, 05:32 PM

[Trespass]

Granted, You dont read the contracts and get screwed

I wish I would just quit smoking

Granted, but sadly to get off the cigarettes you acquired a Cocaine addiction.

I wish for a pet monkey that knows karate

[The Fanatic]

Granted, but sadly to get off the cigarettes you acquired a Cocaine addiction.

I wish for a pet monkey that knows karate

granted, but the monkey attacks and kills you after you bring it home

I wish my cell phone was not retarted

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but you're declared mentally disabled because you can't spell "retarded".

I wish dairy didn't make me congested.

[pebkac]

Granted, it makes you have explosive diarrhea instead.

I wish I could get off work already.

[Tygriss]

Granted, it makes you have explosive diarrhea instead.

I wish I could get off work already.

granted. and they ask you never to come back.

i wish i didn't suck down so much hot chocolate today.

[pebkac]

Granted. What you thought was hot chocolate was really 300 degree burning oil.

I wish I had a good job.

[The Fanatic]

Granted, but you're declared mentally disabled because you can't spell "retarded".

I wish dairy didn't make me congested.

hahaha

[Tygriss]

Granted. What you thought was hot chocolate was really 300 degree burning oil.

I wish I had a good job.

granted. and now you're the noob at the nike factory in cambodia. bonus: your boss is 13 and doesn't speak english.

i wish it was the weekend already.

[Trespass]

granted. and now you're the noob at the nike factory in cambodia. bonus: your boss is 13 and doesn't speak english.

i wish it was the weekend already.

Granted, sadly the coma that made the week fly by to the weekend for you...isn't awakened from..

I wish for an A on my 8 page memo

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. in in big bold red letters the proffessor writes "this is A piece of shit!!!!"

i wish i had my own harem of beautiful bisexual female humans whose only thought is to please me and do my bidding

[rabble]

granted. in in big bold red letters the proffessor writes "this is A piece of shit!!!!"

i wish i had my own harem of beautiful bisexual female humans whose only thought is to please me and do my bidding

granted, but they all die within a few moments because with all that thinking about pleasing you they forgot to breathe.

I wish that I get this OCC job

[FORSAKENR320]

granted, but you soon find that it's a cover for a secret undercover gay male prostitution ring, and you are stuck serving coffee and giving hand jobs to the top ladder corporates for 10 years



i wish i could invent a device that allows me to punch people over the internet

[rabble]

granted, but you soon find that it's a cover for a secret undercover gay male prostitution ring, and you are stuck serving coffee and giving hand jobs to the top ladder corporates for 10 years
i wish i could invent a device that allows me to punch people over the internet

for 50,000/yr plus free travel and paid expenses, I think I can deal with that

[Tygriss]

for 50,000/yr plus free travel and paid expenses, I think I can deal with that

your thought process gets killed and you end up being punched over the intarweb by a hairy fist.

i wish i had a huge stash of chocolate in my office.

[Divergent Realit...]

granted, but its stashed inbetween the walls wrapped in insulation.

I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and to enjoy the consequence

I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain...
to wash who I am

I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it rightfrom the start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash up who I am

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. you get a 2nd chance at life, and this time live it to the fullest, you're a real go getter this time. experiencing all that you missed the first time. unfortunaltly several of the things you missed in your first try were herpes, aids, syphillus.....and a train



i wish i could maim people with my mind

[Seeker]

granted. you get a 2nd chance at life, and this time live it to the fullest, you're a real go getter this time. experiencing all that you missed the first time. unfortunaltly several of the things you missed in your first try were herpes, aids, syphillus.....and a train
i wish i could maim people with my mind

granted, but you were seen as too big of a threat by the u.s. gov so you had a psychic blocker helmet bolted to your head and you were sent to guantanamo bay... castro planned a rescue mission for you, removed the helmet, and used you as a secret weapon to conquer the world and bring glorious communism to all of the world... you couldn't bear life under communism so you maimed yourself (destroyed half your brain to make yourself mentally retarded)... you lived out the rest of your life in an institution being given hand jobs by rabble

i wish everyone was as cool as me

[Trespass]

granted, but you were seen as too big of a threat by the u.s. gov so you had a psychic blocker helmet bolted to your head and you were sent to guantanamo bay... castro planned a rescue mission for you, removed the helmet, and used you as a secret weapon to conquer the world and bring glorious communism to all of the world... you couldn't bear life under communism so you maimed yourself (destroyed half your brain to make youself mentally retarded)... you lived out the rest of your life in an institution being given hand jobs by rabble

i wish everyone was as cool as me

Granted, now everyone has the coolness of a ham sandwich

I wish i wasn't banned....


again

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but your posts become moderated.

I wish I knew who you were...

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. you find out his name right after he jumps from behind the curtain and duct tapes you, and right before he rapes your anus.



i wish i had a chocolate milkshake

[Spectatrix]

Granted, but it turns out the milk had curdled.

I wish I were a little less introspective.

[FORSAKENR320]

granted. you realise you no longer give a shit about your self evaluation or your own feelings. unfortunately your new carefree attitude also extends to your morals and inhibitions.

on a good note, your new hardcore fetish porn site nets you $100,000 a year


i wish i could legitimately use the phrase "niggerfaggot" more often

[Xentither]

granted, but when you say it it summons a genii who fucks up your wishes, despite the fact that they're unlimited and you HAVE to wish for something, lest niggerfaggot be angry with you.

I wish I could beat people other than kids < 14 years old at warhammer

[The Fanatic]

Granted, but one of them pulls a knife on you and guts you like a fish

I wish my lighters did not magically vanish

[Trespass]

Granted, but one of them pulls a knife on you and guts you like a fish

I wish my lighters did not magically vanish

Granted, now they magically explode in your face

i wish for a corvette

[chook]

Granted, now they magically explode in your face

i wish for a corvette

Granted, but it comes with Eddie Murphy and a transvestite in the back.

I wish I was finished with Med School.